In Honor of Our New Aggie Secretary of Defense
Have you heard about the Aggie kamikaze pilot? He flew 22 missions.
How do you sink a submarine which is manned by Aggies? Have a diver knock on the hatch.
How do you get a Texas A&M graduate off your front porch? You pay for the pizza.
A Longhorn, a Red Raider and an Aggie went into a bar for a drink. The longhorn tells the bartender, I'll have a TC. The bartender says ''what's that?" . The Longhorn says ''you know, a Tom Collins." The Techster says ''I'll have a PC." The bartender says ''what's that?" The Techster says "a Pina Colida." The Aggie says "I'll have a 15." The bartender says ''what's that?" The aggie says "you know -- seven & seven".
An Aggie went in to see his advisor, who said, "I want you to take history, math, and logic." "What's logic?" asked the Aggie. "Well," said the professor, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a Weed-eater?" "Why, yes, I do," replied the Aggie. "OK," continued the professor, "logic tells me that you have a yard!" "Amazing," gushed the young rube. "And," continued the professor, "since you have a yard, logic tells me that you have a house." "I do! I do!" exclaimed the boy. "And," continued the professor, "if you have a house, you probably have a wife. And, since you have a wife, I conclude that you are a heterosexual." "Gaaaa-lee!" said the Aggie. "That logic is sump'n else!" He goes outside, and his friend, Buck, asks him what classes he's going to take. "I'm gonna take history, math, and logic." "What's logic?" asks Buck. "OK," says the Aggie, "I'll give you an example: Do you own a weed-eater?" "Uh, no," relies Buck. The Aggie pauses a bit and says, "You're QUEER, ain'tcha".
Four college students are traveling in an airplane that is low on fuel. First, the Wolverine yells "this is for Michigan!" and leaps to his death. Next, the Buckeye gets up, yells "this is for Ohio State!" and jumps to his death. Finally, the Longhorn steps forward, yells "this is for Texas!", and throws the Aggie out.
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, I know a great Aggie joke. You want to hear it?" The bartender says, "Well, before you tell it I should probably tell you that I went to A&M. And you see those two big guys sitting next to you -- they were linebackers for the A&M football team. And those two guys on your other side -- they're Marines, and they used to be in the Corps of Cadets at A&M. Now, are you sure you really want to tell that Aggie joke?"
The guy thinks for a second. "I guess not," he said. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
Two Aggies encounter a large German Shepard licking his balls. One Aggie says to the other, "I wish I could do that." His friend replied, "If you pet him real nice, he might let you."
Did you hear the Texas A&M library burned down? The saddest part was that half the books weren't colored in yet. The George H. Bush Memorial library burned down too. They lost their book.
Q: What does the average Aggie football player get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
How do you sink a submarine which is manned by Aggies? Have a diver knock on the hatch.
How do you get a Texas A&M graduate off your front porch? You pay for the pizza.
A Longhorn, a Red Raider and an Aggie went into a bar for a drink. The longhorn tells the bartender, I'll have a TC. The bartender says ''what's that?" . The Longhorn says ''you know, a Tom Collins." The Techster says ''I'll have a PC." The bartender says ''what's that?" The Techster says "a Pina Colida." The Aggie says "I'll have a 15." The bartender says ''what's that?" The aggie says "you know -- seven & seven".
An Aggie went in to see his advisor, who said, "I want you to take history, math, and logic." "What's logic?" asked the Aggie. "Well," said the professor, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a Weed-eater?" "Why, yes, I do," replied the Aggie. "OK," continued the professor, "logic tells me that you have a yard!" "Amazing," gushed the young rube. "And," continued the professor, "since you have a yard, logic tells me that you have a house." "I do! I do!" exclaimed the boy. "And," continued the professor, "if you have a house, you probably have a wife. And, since you have a wife, I conclude that you are a heterosexual." "Gaaaa-lee!" said the Aggie. "That logic is sump'n else!" He goes outside, and his friend, Buck, asks him what classes he's going to take. "I'm gonna take history, math, and logic." "What's logic?" asks Buck. "OK," says the Aggie, "I'll give you an example: Do you own a weed-eater?" "Uh, no," relies Buck. The Aggie pauses a bit and says, "You're QUEER, ain'tcha".
Four college students are traveling in an airplane that is low on fuel. First, the Wolverine yells "this is for Michigan!" and leaps to his death. Next, the Buckeye gets up, yells "this is for Ohio State!" and jumps to his death. Finally, the Longhorn steps forward, yells "this is for Texas!", and throws the Aggie out.
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, I know a great Aggie joke. You want to hear it?" The bartender says, "Well, before you tell it I should probably tell you that I went to A&M. And you see those two big guys sitting next to you -- they were linebackers for the A&M football team. And those two guys on your other side -- they're Marines, and they used to be in the Corps of Cadets at A&M. Now, are you sure you really want to tell that Aggie joke?"
The guy thinks for a second. "I guess not," he said. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
Two Aggies encounter a large German Shepard licking his balls. One Aggie says to the other, "I wish I could do that." His friend replied, "If you pet him real nice, he might let you."
Did you hear the Texas A&M library burned down? The saddest part was that half the books weren't colored in yet. The George H. Bush Memorial library burned down too. They lost their book.
Q: What does the average Aggie football player get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
posted by Dr. Chingasa at 3:15 PM
1 Comments:
I'm sensing some bitterness...
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